I Want To Hold You Forever
by Flutterbye-hope
Summary: All Ja'far ever wanted out of life was to be at Sinbad's side, though everything.


Ja'far was sure this day was never going to come; well honestly no one ever saw this coming. How could they? With the way Sinbad liked to run around and have what he called his own freedom. They were really skeptical at first. They just couldn't believe that in a million years that Sinbad would want to ever take a wife. The woman hanging off his arm though, she was, perfect. She was everything Sinbad needed. She kept him in check and hell even got him to do his work better than Ja'far could.

That's perhaps the reason Ja'far can't stand the woman. He hates watching the two of them walking through the halls. It makes him twitch ever so slightly for his weapon when she bosses him around. Sinbad hasn't noticed why would he? Ja'far knew he was blind to the world around him if he could get laid. He hated to admit that, but it was true. Yet another reason why he didn't really trust this woman. There was a great possibility that she was here to assassinate Sinbad.

No, wait, that didn't make sense. She could have done that the first night if that were the case. Still, Ja'far didn't have to like her, just because Sinbad was head over heels in love with her for some reason. He did seem so happy, which only make Ja'far feel sicker. He let out a rather disgusted noise when the woman leaned over Sinbad's deck. Talking sweetly to him and trying to convince him to do his work. He didn't realize it would cause the both of them to look at him.

Sinbad's brow came together looking over at his friend. "Is something wrong Ja'far?" Ja'far wasn't even sure he knew the answer to that question. He didn't know what was really wrong and he just couldn't tell Sinbad he thought that the woman was an evil succubus sent from hell. Sinbad would probably lock him up claiming he'd lost his mind.

"Nothing," He said shaking his head looking down at his work. "I just wish the people who wrote this reports weren't so incompetent." It was the quickest lie he could come up with and Sinbad wouldn't think anything of it. He would give a soft laugh and say something about how he needed to relax. Ja'far was starting to wonder if Sinbad was right about that. Maybe he did need to relax. It wasn't like the woman was doing anything wrong; she was just doing everything Ja'far couldn't.

He thought maybe they would be able to get along. It seemed like they had similar goals. She seemed to really care about Sindria and Sinbad. Ja'far didn't have any real reason to hate her. That was until the day he actually went to speak to her. It turned out she was the one who didn't like him. It was what she said one day when they were alone that tipped him off.

"I see the way you look at him," She told him in a bitter voice glaring at him from across the room. Honestly it shocked Ja'far to see her by herself. She didn't often leave Sinbad's side. Solomon knows Ja'far wouldn't if he was in her position.

"Excuse me," He questioned looking up at her from his work. Ja'far had to admit that her glair was impressive, but he didn't like that she was looking at him like that. It looked like she was about to pounce him and rip him apart.

"Sinbad, I see the way you look at him. Stay away from him. If you even talk to him, I will destroy you." Ja'far sat there his mouth agape. He didn't even know where this had come from. Sinbad was his friend, his best friend, his oldest friend, his savior. What did it matter to her how Ja'far did and didn't feel?

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ja'far said slowly looking back at his work. "Sinbad's a dear friend of mine, I'm going to talk to him whether you like it or not," He glanced up at her, "No offence to you."

She was quiet for a while just staring at him. Ja'far tried not to fidget under her gaze and almost relaxed when she moved. Only she moved closer. Ja'far looked up at her in time to move out of the way of a knife being stabbed into his desk. He looked up at the woman like she was mad. She was mad, completely insane. Ja'far needed to tell Sinbad about this, she was going to get someone killed.

"I know how you feel about him, I'm not stupid. You'd have to be blind not to notice what's between the two of you and I'll be damned if I lose him to a freckled freak. Stay away from him." She walked off without another word. Ja'far shook his head. He couldn't believe the woman was threatened by him of all people. He wasn't a threat to her. There was no way he would be able to win Sinbad's affection over someone who had breasts. He wasn't stupid, that's why he never explored his feelings for Sinbad. He never let it become something that could hurt him.

He did need to talk to Sinbad at some point about what just happened. He knew that, it's why he spent the entire day looking for the man. It wasn't like this was any different than any other day for Ja'far he was used to trying to find Sinbad. The man was master hider Ja'far was sure of that. He was almost relieved when he found the man.

"Sinbad," He called almost running to his side. "We need to talk about something. It's about-"

"I already know Ja'far," Sinbad said cutting him off. Ja'far looked up at him confused.

"She told you?"

"Of course she did Ja'far and I'm sorry but if there was anything between us you have to let it go. I'm getting married soon." Ja'far looked up at the man horrified by what he just said.

"What!? No! Sinbad listen that woman is insane, she threatened me. Hell she might kill me just for talking to you right now you can't marry her. She's going to hurt someone I just know it." Sinbad gave him a sympathetic look. What the hell was that for? He was trying to warn Sinbad about the psycho he was going to let be the queen of this country.

"Ja'far, this has gone on too long. I'm not calling off the wedding because you have feelings for me." He put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Can't you just be happy for me?"

This was not happening. Ja'far went cold. Fear ran hot down his spine making it hard for him to even want to move. Sinbad wasn't going to believe anything he said. The was nothing he could do besides kill the woman and there was no way he was going to get away with that, it would end up with Sinbad having to kill him. This woman had Sinbad wrapped around her little finger. Ja'far had to admit defeat. There was no way he could stop the woman without hurting Sinbad and that was the last thing he wanted. Ja'far swallowed bowing his head slightly.

"I'm sorry Sinbad, I am happy for you I really am. Please don't think I would be anything but happy for you." He felt awful for making Sinbad think that he wouldn't be happy for his marriage. Ja'far honestly would have been if the woman hadn't come to him. Things would have just continued to go the way they always have. She had to interject though and now Sinbad thought Ja'far jealous of the woman. He was, because she didn't deserve all of Sinbad's attention. She wasn't fit to be queen and that made Ja'far sick to his stomach.

The wedding came quicker than Ja'far would have liked. He was bitter about the whole thing, but Sinbad looked so happy. It was hard for him to be really angry, but it didn't stop from his eyes watering from time to time. When that happened he'd be sure to disappear from everyone's view to take care of it. It felt like his heart was breaking, it didn't matter how much he smiled or told Sinbad how happy he was for him. They were lies, all of it. He was miserable. He didn't even know if it was because of the woman anymore.

Ja'far wanted to be in her place. He wanted to be the person Sinbad was showering with love and attention. He missed Sinbad spending all his time with him. It was hard, but he was managing. Even with all the sympathetic looks Pisti kept giving him. He was going to kill the girl. She knew too much and Ja'far didn't even know _how_ she knew. Oh, but she did, he could see it in her eyes. She wasn't stupid, she knew relationships better than anyone and if she was smart she'd be able to tell how toxic this one was. Sinbad shouldn't be with this woman and Ja'far knew it.

He, with a lot of difficulty, let it go. Sinbad was an adult now. Ja'far couldn't protect him from his stupid mistakes anymore. He missed the days when they were traveling together. Sinbad knew everything about him. Literally everything and that made Ja'far feel weird, he'd never asked for the man to know so much about him. He never asked to be so close to one person. Part of him didn't want to be so close to him. It would be so much easier if he just didn't care so much about the man.

And it would make the fact that Ja'far hardly ever saw him anymore easier too. The man was always gone. He'd seen him maybe twice since the wedding and that was a few months ago. Sinbad didn't talk to him anymore. He was busy trying to entertain his very needy wife. Ja'far didn't even know that Sinbad wanted to see him. One of the times Ja'far had gone to Sinbad's office to deliver some papers and there she was sitting right next to him. Ja'far never returned. He didn't want to have to face her. It was hard knowing that she'd won. Someone had stolen Sinbad's love away from him and it was slowly killing Ja'far.

He wasn't eating, at least he didn't think he was. Solomon knows the last time he chose to sleep. He's just been kind of passing out and waking up on his desk a few hours later. He didn't really even have the other generals making sure he didn't kill himself. That woman kept them so busy. That was besides Masrur. That man only listened to Sinbad's commands and it made Ja'far smile when he'd see him. He'd make sure that Ja'far got something to eat and actually went to be and Ja'far was just so grateful to have him around. Masrur didn't question him, he just understood. Ja'far was sure that Masrur only understood so well because he hadn't seen much of Sinbad either. No one really had.

Ja'far finally saw him one night when Masrur sent him to bed. He was drunk, so drunk that Ja'far could smell it from down the hall. He let out a tired sigh, extremely tempted to just walk past the man and pretend he'd never seen him. His wife might have his head if he spoke to the man anyway. He didn't have the chance to sneak away as Sinbad turned and gave him one of those wide goofy grins he'd wear when drunk.

"Ja'far," He called out loudly walking over to the man. Ja'far nearly flinched when Sinbad wrapped an arm around his shoulders, giving him the most uncomfortable hug of his life. His nose was pressed into Sinbad's chest and it just kind of hurt. It didn't only physically hurt him, but it was so hard to be near him. His chest felt like there was a wound in it that only got bigger the longer Sinbad held him. Sinbad needed to go back to his room, back to his wife and stay there. Ja'far never liked him when he was drunk anyway.

"Sin," Ja'far said softly. "Shouldn't you be with your wife?" Sinbad let out a soft hum pressing his face into Ja'far's hair making his heart jump. This was just cruel and Ja'far was tempted to stab the man. There was no reason for him to be doing this, to be treating Ja'far like this. "I'm going to stab you if you don't let go of me," He told the man honestly. There was no reason to lie to him.

It didn't matter though things didn't turn out the way he had hoped they would. He wanted Sinbad to go back to his room and be with his wife. Live a normal happy life. So why didn't he push the man away when he kissed him? Perhaps because it felt far too good to stop. Ja'far didn't want to push him away. The last thing he wanted Sinbad to do was stop. Even when he had him pushed up against the wall pulling at his clothes.

He should have stopped it, every part of him knew that, but when he went to speak all he could ask was if Sinbad wanted to move someone more private. Ja'far didn't stop Sinbad from carrying him back to his room or removing his clothes. Sinbad's mouth on his skin was hot and inviting. There wasn't a part of him that wanted to argue against this or tell Sinbad to stop, because it felt so nice.

Ja'far always wondered what it would be like to be tangled in the sheets with Sinbad and it was so good. So much better than he could ever have imagined. His hands were gentle, but they held so much power. He made Ja'far make sounds he didn't know were possible and he wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted to feel Sinbad pressed into him for a long as he could. He knew how empty he would feel when the man left. Ja'far wrapped his arms around Sinbad's neck trying to hold him close.

The words Sinbad whispered in Ja'far's ear brought tears to his eyes. He knew they weren't true, and that hurt him more than hearing them. Sinbad was truly a despicable man, but it didn't stop Ja'far from loving him. Even when he left, after using Ja'far and leaving him there to wallow in his own misery. He had wanted to tell the man to stay, but he knew he couldn't. This had been a mistake and they both knew it.

Ja'far knew he shouldn't cry, even as he held his chest and tears rolled down his cheeks. He was supposed to be stronger than this. Nothing was supposed to hurt him. He'd built a wall around himself to protect him from these things. Then why did it hurt so much?


End file.
